Smacked readers share their stories of addiction and recovery, both their own and of those they love.

I lost my beautiful 25 year old son Lucas to the giant monster called addiction. He lost his long and arduous battle to opioid addiction on December 19th, 2016. I am heartbroken. Since then I have thrown myself into recovery for family members addressing the impact on those living with a loved one's substance use.

I went through something so incredibly similar. This story spoke to me on a level and no other book ever has. Thank you so much for writing it.

My ex also passed away in 2015, he was a successful clinical psychologist in New York and tragically died from addiction, the same way your ex passed away. My therapist recommended your book, although it was hard to read in some parts since all the chaos, confusion and the pain was (and is) so very real for me and my children. It was comforting to read that I’m not the only ex who feels tremendous loss. Some people don’t understand and expect that I should be “okay.” I still miss him and those milestones with the kids are incredibly lonely without him and there’s always this ache in my heart.

Eerily similar, your expression of loss for your ex-husband was to my experience. I was married and divorced to a successful hedge fund manager who died from drugs and alcoholism. There is so much truth to your statement that you have become a widow although you were divorced. Hard concept for people to understand but true nonetheless.

I married a talented and troubled man. We were together for 33 years. I struggled to leave him for many of the same reasons you stuck with your unhappy marriage. After many years of being unhappy, I finally left. Shortly afterwards I discovered the extent of my husbands drug use and infidelity. It was a shock that I am still processing. So far he is managing to keep his job. I don't know how. I comfort myself by thinking that at least I won't have to be by his side as the long suffering wife as he goes down in flames. I could relate to so much of your story. I appreciate your honesty and your ability to articulate your experience.

I'm a clinical psychologist (former neurobiologist) who has worked in the prison system for the past 23 years. Suffice it to say that I have seen a lot of the same elements you touched upon in your story with similar, though not always lethal, consequences. As a rule, I don't trust medical doctors - not much anyway. Psychiatrists in particular want to be helpful but are so ready to slap a diagnosis on the patient (and handful of pills in their mouths) that they do as much harm as good. No question that Americans are over-medicated and over-diagnosed. To a person, inmates tell me things like "I'm bipolar schizophrenic" and when they sober up and start to get a grip on their lives away from drugs they ask "How come my doctor on the streets said I have ____? (fill in the blank). Answer: money! Even among MH providers, asking about substance abuse is almost an afterthought.

I just wanted to say that I finished Smacked and I am so completely and utterly amazed by your bravery and your honesty. I lost my 22-year-old cousin a few weeks ago to drug-assisted suicide. And even though the circumstances were different, you brought light to a lot of what and how I am feeling now, while also bringing to light a lot of characteristics of family members of mine that are lawyers. I assumed some of those characteristics were “just how they are” type of things. So I guess the bottom line is that I just wanted to thank you so much and to congratulate you. So few people could turn that situation into something so beautiful and enlightening.

My friend’s husband passed away from drug related reasons last week and the second I heard about it I thought of your book. It gave me a lot of comfort this week, and I know it will bring my friend comfort when she’s ready for it eventually.

I’m two-thirds of the way through your book and I am just astounded. It is hitting me where I live because I have never been able to explain to anyone why practicing law makes me so very unhappy.

I was married to my husband for 34 years. An attorney with a cocaine addiction who left me five years ago. It’s taking me so long to have some kind of understanding of what was going on. I’m in the middle of your book now but felt I had to write you. I don’t know if my husband is clean now. He moved across country to New York and is in a new relationship. Your book has allowed me to understand how traumatic it was to live through the years before he left. How completely in the dark I was and how long it took me to admit what was going on. I just want to thank you for looking into this whole lawyer depression life.  It is so enlightening to know I’m not the only one who’s gone through this.

I am a 55 year old recovering addict. Got clean and sober at 25, relapsed at 36, lasted 12 years. Got sober again 7 years ago. Heard about the book on NPR the other day. Read it last night. Thank You for writing it. I am deeply sorry for the pain and loss you and your kids suffered. Although i never went the IV route, (vanity I suppose), I have been to that dark abyss and know it well. Your writing evoked deep sense memory and emotional recall that made me grateful I have left all that behind.

My husband is a partner at [Am Law 100 firm] and when your NYT article came out in 2017, the firm’s manager partner emailed it to every single partner (worldwide) with a message that read “If you are struggling, please get help.” Although my husband is not an addict (to my knowledge) so much of your book could have been about us. I wish I could say that there has been a shift in the firm’s culture since 2017, but there hasn’t. I have never related to anything as much as I did your story, which to some might seem odd, since addiction is at its core and we’re not dealing with that…. Nevertheless, there are many similarities between y husband and Peter, and between our relationships. I made my husband listen to part of Chapter 12 yesterday and he told me that, “some of it resonated” but he thinks a lot of what you had to say was “probably geared toward litigators.” Perhaps your book will spark a deeper conversation.

The book struck a cord for me because I have several friends in law, and I have witnessed the giving over of themselves to the job, toxicity of the culture, substance abuse, transition from a softer person into a harsher one (to put it mildly for some cases), and even physical transformation (one friend became partially blind, reportedly due to too much reading). I actually chose against law because my freshman year in college, a political science professor whom I admired and former corporate attorney cautioned against it, with stories to back up. That said, this year, I am due to start medical school. Reading your book caused me to grapple with some fears of all that having a high-powered career can entail. Especially during the COVID crisis, your book also reminded me of the important caution not to be so consumed with material trappings that I become owned by my job and cannot make necessary adjustments to protect my family life.

I read your outstanding book in one evening. I lost a sister to hep C and never saw it coming because she swore she didn't have it. She was ashamed even though I had told her I did not care. I.V. drug user in the past. Your book spoke to me and I am sure so many others.

You are carrying a critically important message – that intelligence does not inoculate people from addiction – in some ways the highly analytical mind is capable of amazing justifications and denial. Your story resonates with me on a visceral level. Peter’s story was my story. I’m sorry for your loss and the myriad emotions that I’m sure continue to ripple through your family.

I recently went through a similar experience and needed to thank you for writing such a poignant, intelligent and heartfelt memoir. Reading your book has been a cathartic and insightful experience.

I am an MSW/LCSW in private practice in [southeastern state in the US] and though I don’t treat substance abuse (due to my own trauma with a parent), I learn so much through the memoirs of those with a story tell, including Fall to Pieces, Beautiful Boy and now, Smacked.

I have a similar story, including the “autoimmune” disease part. My jaw dropped when I read your memoir summary. I felt a small piece of relief to read that I’m not the only one in the world [to have experienced this].

[SMACKED] was so much my story. I was lucky to have a happier ending. My husband had been clean and in recovery for 14 years! I cherish each day.

Thank you for being vulnerable and helping to draw the curtain back on several taboo topics. I am truly sorry for your suffering. I can reassure you that Peter did not suffer at death from my own story. I would also like to share that I retired my pristine Federal DEA and my state medical license after 2 unsolicited requests for Oxycontin prescriptions in the last 8 months; and, being told about a rental home where a 30+ YO tenant was found dead. A drug lab was also found in the home along with the dead tenant. [The landlord was callous and did nothing, even though he suspected there was a problem, according to this reader.]  I retired my medical license as I could not accept the societal burden of learning that someone had been injured by the [landlord's] inactions--I can only shake my head in disbelief. There is more to the story, but I am relieved to know that I do not have to face the present growing societal problems of addiction, housing, professional expectations and stories like Peter. Very sad. There is much more that is needed to be done as a society surrounding these taboo topics.

No one understands unless they have lived it. I can identify so much that you discussed in this book. By the time I reached chapter 13 I was amazed that the description of "Overdose then Withdrawal" each month on ADHD meds was exactly what I had constantly brought up when confronting my now ex-husband. White collar addiction is not something people ever speak about. People who are secretive and seemingly "functioning addicts" are the most terrifying addicts because they are hidden in plain sight!